Why is it so hard to just feel normal around everyone? Why is there always that one group (or maybe there are multiple groups) that always make you feel uncomfortable or like you just can't be yourself. Yet, when we feel this way, we just put on a front and act like everything is just perfectly normal. I find myself feeling this way with the group of girls I dance with. This is so ironic because I've grown up dancing with these girls for years. I just feel so different around them and I feel like they're constantly judging me. This is the worst feeling in the world-to feel judged. I could be paranoid and maybe they aren't judging me. I just feel like all their eyes are on me when I'm around and they are all thinking, "Why is she here? She doesn't fit in. Why isn't she pretty like us or dress like us?" I know these girls and they are all so sweet and I'd love to think that none of them would ever think like this. However, there's a small part of me, that part that makes me feel uncomfortable around them, that makes me think they are constantly talking about how different I am. This is so hard because I want to be friends with them and I want to be included. Everyone wants that. I just feel that I'm not and I find it hard to try and be a part of the group or do things like sleepovers or parties because I don't feel like I fit in. Everyone seems to have made their exclusive group of friends before I became a part of the picture so I have one group of people I can hang out with and I don't even feel totally comfortable around them. I just feel like I can't fit in with these people.
Listening to: Josh Baldwin
1 comments:
Truthfully Kate you are probably different than alot of them - you probably don't "fit" in the traditional sense - but one day you will realize and I hope that day is soon, that you CAN be comfortable in your body, in your mind, with your talents abilities and strengths even if your in an entire room full of dancers, classmates, adults, kids, believers or nonbelievers. Its okay to stand out and it not be in a bad way. Christ actually commands that we stick out and be different - He calls us not to conform to the world but to strive to be like Him; I love you for your honesty and for who you are in general. You are a beautiful girl who is more like me than she will ever realize. Its so easy to say these things and sound like I know what I'm talking about, but deep down I struggle with the SAME exact issues - just a different body and different life phase.
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